12/10/2004
 
All Your Base Are Belong To Us!
MoveOn MovesAgainst the DNC (news item); and in that light, I propose an alternate history:


2005 - It was a time of war, the empire known as the DNC fought bravely against the reactionary forces of the insurgency, but MoveOn.org was more powerful than anyone had previously thought.
Captain: "What happen?"
Mechanic: "Somebody set up us the bomb."
Operator: "We get Signal."
Captain: "What?"
Operator: "Main screen turn on."
Captain: "It's you!"
Cats: "How are you gentlemen!!"
Cats: "All your base are belong to us."
Cats: "You are on the way to destruction."
Cats: "You have no chance to survive make your time!"

And so children, MoveOn.org took over the DNC and the war for the hearts and minds of blue-staters entered a new and bloody phase. Cats, otherwise known as Dr. Howard Dean moved in to DNC HQ and routed the corporate stooges who had brought in the DLC in the guise of Democrats Lite and forced the evil ones out of the DNC. Powerful heads however, at the RNC knew that if the DNC were taken over by reactionaries at MoveOn.org, then the long term prospects of the RNC would be enhanced.

Androids, in the form of McCain-Feingold, would intervene however and, realizing that their changes in the laws of physics and politics created the reactionary monster, plotted against MoveOn.org. The androids knew that if they could only make one further change, only one miniscule jot in the laws of physics and politics, MoveOn.org might starve, and thus win for the DNC that which they could not win for themselves.

The RNC of course was somewhat dismayed, for they knew that their earlier plotting against the androids had been foolish, that acquiescing to the demands of the populace and allowing the Grand Poo-Bah Bush II, to endorse the changes in the laws of physics and politics and actually signing the endorsement had, in the end, played an important role in the formation of his second administration. Not knowing what to do, they further tinkered with the laws of physics and politics and created even more monsters. Thus children, MoveOn.org was only the beginning, as more and more reactionaries at the DNC and later the RNC became more and more powerful, the populace was forgotten and we come to this stage of the equation. None of us have any rights any more. Now, go to sleep and realize that big brother will indeed be watching over us.

Moral of the story: Tinker with the laws of physics and politics often enough, and the monster you create will devour you. Tinker with what is essentially a first amendment right, and you know not what the laws of unexpected consequences will give birth to.

UPDATE (Dec/ 12. 2004): Some of you may be unfamiliar with the "All your base are blong to us" phenomenon. The original can be found here. It has been pronounced dead, but still survives. Kinda like MoveOn huh?




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